Musonius Rufus | Lectures | 13
Lecture XIIIA
What is the Chief End of Marriage?
1 [That the primary end of marriage is community of life with a view to the procreation of children.]
2 The husband and wife, he used to say, should come together for the purpose of making a life in common and of procreating children, and furthermore of regarding all things in common between them, and nothing peculiar or private to one or the other, not even their own bodies.
3 The birth of a human being which results from such a union is to be sure something marvellous, but it is not yet enough for the relation of husband and wife, inasmuch as quite apart from marriage it could result from any other sexual union, just as in the case of animals.
4 But in marriage there must be above all perfect companionship and mutual love of husband and wife, both in health and in sickness and under all conditions, since it was with desire for this as well as for having children that both entered upon marriage.
5 Where, then, this love for each other is perfect and the two share it completely, each striving to outdo the other in devotion, the marriage is ideal and worthy of envy, for such a union is beautiful.
6 But where each looks only to his own interests and neglects the other, or, what is worse, when one is so minded and lives in the same house but fixes his attention elsewhere and is not willing to pull together with his yoke-mate nor to agree, then the union is doomed to disaster and though they live together, yet their common interests fare badly; eventually they separate entirely or they remain together and suffer what is worse than loneliness.
Lecture XIIIB
What is the Chief End of Marriage?
1 Therefore those who contemplate marriage ought to have regard neither for family, whether either one be of high-born parents, nor for wealth, whether on either side there be great possessions, nor for physical traits, whether one or the other have beauty.
2 For neither wealth nor beauty nor high birth is effective in promoting partnership of interest or sympathy, nor again are they significant for producing children.
3 But as for the body it is enough for marriage that it be healthy, of normal appearance, and capable of hard work, such as would be less exposed to the snares of tempters, better adapted to perform physical labour, and not wanting in strength to beget or to bear children.
4 With respect to character or soul one should expect that it be habituated to self-control and justice, and in a word, naturally disposed to virtue.
5 <These qualities should be present in both man and wife.> For without sympathy of mind and character between husband and wife, what marriage can be good, what partnership advantageous?
6 How could two human beings who are base have sympathy of spirit one with the other?
7 Or how could one that is good be in harmony with one that is bad?
8 No more than a crooked piece of wood could be fitted to a straight one, or two crooked ones be put together.
9 For the crooked one will not fit another crooked one, and much less the opposite, a crooked with a straight one.
10 So a wicked man is not friendly to a wicked one, nor does he agree with him, and much less with a good man.